JBuzz

So that was that, it had to be done
to live now, i had a reason none,
failures and frustration, a spirit broken,
not any day ,i had with a smile woken,
it was time now to jump the boat,
and i set to write my suicide note.

It was funny, writing this piece,
what did i have , none the least,
nothing to declare, nothing to leave behind,
and to whom i write? no one in mind!

Still, i wrote, there were some things,
the flowers in my garden , they needed special care,
some were common , but some were species rare,
i had grown all kinds, roses and tulips,
dahlias and daffodils, they were in full bloom,
would my going change it to gloom?

Then there was a small matter of the books,
i didnt want to leave them to the worldly crooks,
I had many , i listed them in my mind,
and astonished some still unread I find,
a small doubt erupts , shouldnt i live to read them,
to me they were friends and always kind!

I wrote surprised , to find things kept on coming,
the neighbour's son I tutored, his english was weak,
he needed understanding, being shy and meek,
and as I wrote about him, i was stunned,
to find tears in my eyes ,and to realise,
I was attached and found a friend,
to love and care for, where there was none.

The pen kept on flowing, the pages grew in number,
at the end of it all , the doubt had been resolved,
if there were so many things to fill in those pages,
how could i die and be so selfishly unfair,
to all those things which had filled my note,
and my life again, without me even sensing them!

I kept the note safe, to remind me forever,
life is infinite and a suicide it deserves never,
I smiled again and felt it was so funny,
how a suicide note again filled my life with hope!